Mama Bali
Yesterday marked a month since I first arrived here in Bali. Mama Bali was calling me, and I am only beginning to scratch the surface with the multiple layers of why I was called here so strongly.
My life seemingly was following one trajectory, and as I tuned into the multiple timelines of the future of what could occur nothing felt within to be in the fullest resonance. My body knew before my mind did. Everytime I thought about the certain choices that lay before me, the decisions I needed to make, I would feel anxiety and contraction in my body.
What seemingly was supposed to bring excitement and what I thought I had been wanting and thinking of the entire year, landed up being shown to me clearly by my contraction that it wasnt truly what my soul yearned for.
I really had to surrender and tune into the wisdom of my womb, my body, my heart and the divine to be guided to the highest possible timeline for myself which would then be the highest possible timeline for all. What resulted in this deep surrender and seeking began in signs and symbols, and conversations of Bali which began to endlessly fill my days.
Everywhere I turned it was like Bali was being thrown in my face. And ofcourse my ego dismissed such thoughts because it was no where on my radar and trajectory. Or so I thought. Old programs of it not being possible came to the forefront. I was truly faced with moving beyond the false illusion of barriers and opening my heart in pure faith that if I am being called and guided all will occur to make that happen.
What was revealed to me however is that even when you are called and guided and all of the universe is conspiring, you still have to show up and do the work. It became very clear that these other possible timelines had to fall away and I had to make very hard decisions of walking away from the known and familiar. People, places and things that created a sense of identity and a safety net in exchange for the unknown and the unseen.
Within a week of dropping down into prayer and seeking guidance I received my answer so clearly through the womb winks of life. And I never could have imagined that would be traveling for 3 months, with the largest portion of that being here in Bali.
Amongst this journey I have reunited with old friends, (some living half way across the world that would have normally taken another few years to see one another) reunited with new yet ancient soul family in California, Hawaii, and now Bali.
I dove deeply into a Breathwork Facilitator Training with the Sacred Breath Academy that catalyzed deep healing and had my first ever full body orgasm catalyzed by breath alone. And the deep healing has only continued being here in Bali.
What has been unfolding in this grand adventure is beyond anything I could have foreseen or imagined could be possible.
It tool deep faith and surrender, tuning into the whispers of the universe around me, and opening my heart to the beauty and love that was making its way to me. And accepting it fully, ALL OF IT.
It also took facing myself in the deepest way when I was being beckoned to blindly step forward without seeing the path ahead.
The greatest test of all is trusting deeply that I do indeed deserve it all. And to open to all that has been trying to make its way to me. Arms, heart and womb fully open
—Originally Wriiten December 30th, 2019